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Dear Dr. Laura, Recently you had a call from Deb who was struggling with a diagnosis of cancer. She wanted to be the center of attention, and she did not appreciate how her husband was taking care of the home and family. My heart goes out to Deb and her husband as they work through their difficulties and challenges. One of the things you suggested to Deb was that she consider giving of herself in service to others. As you have stated many times, service to others is one of the great ways to change one's attitude and to be happy. Even before you suggested that Deb consider giving service to others, my mind went back 15 years ago to our 27-year-old daughter who was battling terminal cancer. Our daughter had 3 children, ages 1, 3, and 5, when she passed away. At her funeral many people told us about how she had shown love and concern for them. Some were elderly ladies who said they did not realize how sick she was because she had phoned just days before to check on them to see how they were doing and if they needed anything. Others told of special things that she had done for them. In our daughter's church she and a companion were assigned to check on and visit with several ladies each month. When our daughter was too ill to get out, her companion would pick up the ladies, one-at-a-time, and bring them to our daughter's home where the visits would take place. She was never too sick to help others. This selflessness was not just when she was sick. She did the same and cared for others long before she had cancer. She helped her brothers and sister when they had problems. When my father and stepmother were sick with the flu, she took them homemade chicken soup and checked on them. A number of times she tracked down a homeless cousin of mine and brought her home for a meal and visiting. She worked with and visited with the youth and the elderly in her church. She will always be an example of service to me. When she passed away, our daughter was at peace, and she left her world a much better place. My wife and I were proud to be able to say at our daughter's funeral that we are her parents. To us there is no greater honor. Tom |
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